FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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