I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
