So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
