i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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