Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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