no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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