this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
