Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
