I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
