Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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