do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
