this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
