Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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