Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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