please come you make the beer taste better
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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