Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
