Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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