lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
