Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
