My liver just broke up with me...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
