If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
