Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
