You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we're making bets on your personal life
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
