I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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