there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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