I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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