...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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