Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
