hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
