your parents love me but you hate me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
