His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think your dad took our porno
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
