I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
