so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Apparently you make a good broom.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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