the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
