Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
