you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
