The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
how drunk are you?
Several
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
