Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
