It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
dude. I can hear the air.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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