i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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