I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
