Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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