Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
