the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
