there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
