I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
