U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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