Jerry, you need to find god
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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