I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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