all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
