some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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