my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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