glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
