your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
