i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
