I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
