i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
