well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No subtext here. People are naked.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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