I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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