Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
