OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Randomize
