i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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